The pain of it!
The whole world owned me!
The pain of being loved
by the whole world-
no one loved me!
I know what lovers do-
hurt and abandon you
I know what love is-
bottomless
abandonment
I came out of the sticks and took over
the whole world-
the best fuckin rock band in the whole goddamned world!
Remember Nurk,
how we did it back in Germany, how we learned it
at The Star Club and the Cavern,
drowning out the drunks and playing
louder over fights and brawls, how raw
and desperate and lean our music was,
how we’d leap and scream?
We gave good show, nurk-
remember, I’d play with a toilet seat ’round me neck,
remember sleeping on stage between numbers,
spitting and swearing at the audience?
And then Brian told us not to smoke or swear or sleep on stage,
the toilet seat was out, the suits were in.
We put on suits, and the music changed.
We sold out; the music wasn’t angry anymore,
just me
only I was still angry.
But we wanted to be big, and Brian made us big,
God! he made us big-
bigger than Elvis even, soon we were even bigger
than the best fuckin rock band in the whole god-damned
world; we were something bigger than that, even,
and I was in a box
with the whole god-damned world,
I was in a box
with the whole world’s love and adulation,
and the music had no where to go.
Where was there room for art or truth or music
in that box? Humiliating,
to apologize to dictators, religious fundamentalists, humiliating
to shut up about a dirty little war
we should have screamed about, humiliating
to apologize for truth,
all I wanted was truth! –
humiliating the put downs from the rich, the fake
politicians, humiliating to play lackey
to the kind of people we never would have spent a minute with
back home, humiliating and
excruciating.
(shouts)
The whole world has its mind in a box
and I’m supposed to be its lover!